A Quest to Find MyselfI let myself be dominated again, be let down again. Actually it's very easy to push me down, people can do it without notice. Someone passes by, forms a wind current, and I lose my balance.A Quest to Find Myself by NinaAmon
Deep inside it's not their fault; it's me who doesn't have a solid base. I'm still not able to love myself. My mind is like a labyrinth and I must find myself, but there's a wall around me which I should break with a sledgehammer, though I all I have are my bare hands.
It's easier to break my hands than the wall. There must be another way.
Who put this wall there? And the labyrinth?
Was it myself, to shield myself from outer world?
Or did I just see people around me doing it, and I learned to do the same? No, that would be blaming them.
Maybe it's a mix of both. I don't know. I just know I must get to the end of the labyrinth and break this wall.
Nobody will hear me if I scream. I have to do this by myself.
A Peek Into My MindMy mind is generally a dark, warped, bizarre place. I have innumerable insecurities, anxieties, doubts, obsessions, variable moods, and so on that I can never seem to get a hold of. I frequently feel I have absolutely no control over my mind, and thus easily give in to just letting it do whatever it wants, controlling me like a puppet, or killing my willpower so that I become near-catatonic. The more that I learn about myself, the more that I fear myself, but the more that... some sort of light seems to shine on the otherwise dark landscape that is my mind. It's a mixture of hope and enlightenment with fear and uncertainty. While many minds can be perceived, frequently by the bearer, as warped, and perhaps dark, I frequently fear what would become of someone should they somehow fall into the depths of mine.A Peek Into My Mind by evryrosehasitsthorns
I frequently fear that I am everything I loathe. I loathe killing and fear killing others. I loathe narcissism and fear being a narcissist. I loathe promiscuity and fear being promi