A Quest to Find MyselfI let myself be dominated again, be let down again. Actually it's very easy to push me down, people can do it without notice. Someone passes by, forms a wind current, and I lose my balance.A Quest to Find Myself by NinaAmon
Deep inside it's not their fault; it's me who doesn't have a solid base. I'm still not able to love myself. My mind is like a labyrinth and I must find myself, but there's a wall around me which I should break with a sledgehammer, though I all I have are my bare hands.
It's easier to break my hands than the wall. There must be another way.
Who put this wall there? And the labyrinth?
Was it myself, to shield myself from outer world?
Or did I just see people around me doing it, and I learned to do the same? No, that would be blaming them.
Maybe it's a mix of both. I don't know. I just know I must get to the end of the labyrinth and break this wall.
Nobody will hear me if I scream. I have to do this by myself.
So I Fell.When I was five years oldSo I Fell. by ShatteredScribe
I thought life would always be good
thought my best friend and I
would always be together
thought I'd always be that happy and carefree
thought nothing in the world
could ever bring me down.
By the time I was nine I had learned by myself
that every problem, challenge, little obstacle
was Mount Everest
and I was climbing it with my bare hands
that what everyone told me was just a little
was a cliff a thousand miles high
with sharp rocks at the bottom
and I had no other way to go
At twelve I was pushed off that cliff
before I was ready
somehow I missed the jagged stone spikes
but the ocean surf at the bottom
crushed me against the smooth unyielding rock
slammed me into it again and again and again
until my very soul felt battered and bruised
and the effort of trying to find a handhold
of trying to hold on just for a moment
became too much for my damaged being.
As a youth of fourteen I finally sank
beneath that dark sea
felt cold water sw