A Quest to Find MyselfI let myself be dominated again, be let down again. Actually it's very easy to push me down, people can do it without notice. Someone passes by, forms a wind current, and I lose my balance.A Quest to Find Myself by NinaAmon
Deep inside it's not their fault; it's me who doesn't have a solid base. I'm still not able to love myself. My mind is like a labyrinth and I must find myself, but there's a wall around me which I should break with a sledgehammer, though I all I have are my bare hands.
It's easier to break my hands than the wall. There must be another way.
Who put this wall there? And the labyrinth?
Was it myself, to shield myself from outer world?
Or did I just see people around me doing it, and I learned to do the same? No, that would be blaming them.
Maybe it's a mix of both. I don't know. I just know I must get to the end of the labyrinth and break this wall.
Nobody will hear me if I scream. I have to do this by myself.
DepressionI've heard so many people tell those who suffer depression to just 'cheer up.' I wonder if they can really believe that it's that simple.Depression by pixijane
Depression isn't just sadness. It is emptiness, it is misery. It is pain and nothingness at once. When you are truly depressed you lack the ability or will to cheer yourself up. No one just 'has depression.' You suffer from it. This is depression:
You will wake at 5, 6, maybe 7am, feeling as though you had only just fallen asleep. It's likely you did. If you don't have to be somewhere, you could lie in bed for another 3 hours...too tired, too miserable and pathetic to crawl out of you bed. Or maybe you will sleep until 1pm, because it's so much easier to sleep through most of the day than actually live it, and you're so unbelievably tired anyway. You will push through the day, knowing that every hour will be a struggle and not knowing how you will feel tomorrow. People will ask what is wrong, and you will simply smile and say 'nothing, I'm just tired